an old friend once told me something i still keep in mind: if you're upset, and maybe you're in an argument, or disagreement, squabble with your boothang, whatever.... BEFORE you say something ask yourself this question. "is the intention of saying what i'm about to say to hurt the other person, or their feelings". like, that, in its truest sense, is the intention behind the words. if that is the case, you just dont say it. you don't. life is too short. anyways, i've always thought that was really good, but i've broadened the thought a little bit, and now it includes talking about people, too. i.e. talking shit about people. so easy to do. shit, its fun. lets be honest. what is the intent though. well, its generally to make yourself feel better. its kind of the same thing as not throwing hurtful barbs in an argument. its senseless violence IMO. anyways, yesterday i was gossiping about some people that f*ck, i barely even know. and i mean barely. so not only am i talking shit, i am talking shit with no basis or ground to stand on whatsoever. man do i just love uninformed opinions. JFC. in any event, i had my little shit parade yesterday and all seemed fun and good until...........i spent the entire night having nightmares about my wife having an affair on me. yep. it was awful. and it boiled down to me being a shitty dad, and her wanting to take the baby. now, in reality, i dont think that I am that way, but like, everyone has their insecurities and paranoias, right? so i have this shit dream about affairs and all this torrid nastiness. and i asked myself of course, where THE F*CK did all of that come from? it was like a swift kick to the nuts and i like didn't even see tyrrion lannister standing there. impish bastard that he is. nevertheless.....i thought back to my shit talking the day prior - what had i been suggesting? that the couple we were discussing was perhaps not being faithful to one another. yep. i'm not crazy religious or anything but i am spiritual, i do believe in a greater universe with karma and spirituality, and yep......the little lord himself kicked me square in the crown jewels last night, and i'm here to say I deserved it. put good energy into the universe aaaand get good juju back (and spare your boys!!!). lots of love.
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